Frem HUSTLER magazine.
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Aphrodisiac -- Any substance that decreases a bitch's resistance to
the carnal advances of a horny scumbag. Common
"aphrodisiacs" include large dicks, costly powders,
fast cars, Visa gold cards and money in all of its
higher denominations.
AC/DC -- An indiscriminate plug that will stick into any available
socket.
Anal Retention -- Anal retention is a phose in the Freudian stages
of personality development. Anal retention is also
what a homosexual does when he does not want to get
sperm on the upholstery.
Ass Belch -- Fart. Bad news if a bitch ass belches while getting her
fudge packed.
Asshole -- We've all got one. Some of us are one.
Asshole Buddy -- Afriend with whom a scumbag can be himself. As in
"Jeff Moses is my asshole buddy. I can ass belch at
the dinner table, and he keeps scarfing his burrito."
Ballbuster -- A penis-envying bitch who's obsessed with inflicting
castration complexes. Synonyms: Career woman, girlfriend.
Bimbo -- Something a bitch calls another bitch who's scored a scumbag
she wanted for herself.
Blowjob -- The best method the scumbags have yet devised to quiet a
bitch.
Bone -- Has nothing to do with dinosaur skeletons on display at the
Museum of Natural History. As a noun, a bone is a blood-
engorged biological organ with a high concentration of
pleasure sensors in its tissue. As a verb, to bone is to do
anything a consenting adult wants to do with his bone.
Butt Cherry -- A succulent fruit that retains its savory sweetness
even after a bitch has lost her ass virginity. Synonyms:
Brown-eye, bun nugget, pucker bud, executive vice
president.
Butt Plug -- A torture divice inserted sadistically into a slave's
rectum and left there well beyond the statute of merciful
limitations. Most commonly worn by the American tax-
paying public.
Callipygian -- An incredibly effete and refined way of saying "has a
nice ass". Usage: She was a callipygian bitch; so I
packed her fudge.
Choad -- The male erotic essence, as it springs from between his loins
and as it spurts from his spring. Usage: The bitch's face
was smeared in choad.
Clitoris -- A nub of throbbing gristle situated at the apex of a
bitch's pussy. She is very interested in a scumbag knowing
where her clitoris is and will reward him for making its
discovery. Synonyms: Joy buzzer, love button, pearl.
Coprophilia -- The art of eating shit and saying it tastes great, an
essential skill for a successful career in the advert-
ising, entertainment or politics industries.
Cream Puffer -- A pud-huffing bitch who's sucked her mouth full of
milky discharge; yet continues to blow.
Cum -- Spurts of viscous liquid that verify true lust, cum looks like
anything from mayonnaise to tapioca pudding. Synonyms: Jizz,
load, manchowder, wad.
Cum Sponge -- Either a crude birth-control device or a bitch who has a
hearty appetite for anything from mayonnaise to topioca
pudding. Synonyms: Scum dump, spuzz receptacle, wad sop.
Cunt -- The good news is that she has one. The bad news is that she
may be one.
Dick -- The male animal. Synonyms: Prick, scumbag, line of credit.
Dick Ornament -- A particularly eye-pleasing bitch.
Dildo -- Penis substitue that comes in several different varieties,
including double-dong, strap-on and Republican.
Doggy-Style -- The ability of a scumbag to have sex by putting one
leg behind his neck, leaning forward and licking his
balls. Synonym: Ron Jeremy mode.
Douchebag -- Asack of vinegar and disinfectant; any bitch who's old
enough to be a scumbag's mother, and yet still tries to
bust his balls.
Enema -- A good way for a tight ass to clear his mind.
MORE to CUM.......
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