MEMORANDUM

To:    All Clients who have recently purchased or are about to purchase a dog.

From:  Stokes A. Baird and James C. Ladd

Re:    What NOT to name your dog.


Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex".

  Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me, when i went to city hall to renew
his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He
said, "I'd like to have one too". Then I said, "But this is a dog". He said he
didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. " I've
had Sex since I was nine years old". He said I must have been quite a kid!!!

  When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told
the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room
for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for Sex. I said, "You dont
understand, Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk said, "me too".

  One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the
dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was standing there looking
around, I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that
I should have sold my own tickets. "But you dont understand", I said. "I had
hoped to have Sex on T.V.". He called me a show-off.

  When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the
dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before i was married". The judge said,
"Me too". Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said,
"Me too".

  Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 
o'clock in the morning?". I said, "I'm looking for Sex".

  My case comes up friday.....   

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